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| Holding out for a hero till the end of the night 2006, April 21 - 4:43 p.m.
I've been nervous about my move all day. I have to move things tonight and for that I need Ross's help. I need his van to get my boxes from point A to point B. He said he'd be here between 7:00 and 9:00 tonight. He will be bringing the boxes I need. Getting here at 9:00 is pretty bad for me though. I would need to take the boxes, pack my stuff up and then bring them down to the van, one by one and go over there. Then I have to unload everything, probably by myself, and then go back. That will take hours all together. The earlier I can start the better. I really needed his help over a series of days for this exact reason, but he took a friend on her vacation time to his dad's to hang out a couple days by her request. She'd been looking forward to it and I didn't have the heart to say anything about it. I've been really feeling like he isn't taking my move very seriously, like it isn't a big deal and that I shouldn't be stressed out about it. He said he move twice in a year and it wasn't a big deal for him. That really angered me. For one, his dad, who is a reliable and responsible father, arranged his move for him. He got the van, I think he got his financial info gathered for him and then he moved his stuff. Ross only had to arrange his phone/cable/internet, pack and unpack his belongings, buy furniture and pay for his moving expenses, all which he could easily afford to do. He also had wide blocks of time free because his schedule is open and his dad's time was the only factor they had to negotiate. He didn't have to leave anywhere with any urgency and had lots of time to do everything. My dad booked a van, saying he'd pay a share. He then toyed with me over expenses all month long. I have to pack and unpack everything and I can't find boxes so I have to rely on Ross. I'm also responsible for moving anything that isn't furniture on my own, something I also need to rely on Ross for. I can't get everything done in a day or even two days. I'm going to have very tight money over this and gas prices just shot up. This Sunday is the only day Dad and I can both move me. I have had to organize all of this while working a full-time job. The two situations are nothing alike. I'm looking around this place and I can't do anything more until he gets here. I want to have faith in him. I really do. I can't see why it could take until 9:00 to get here. I just can't. It just wouldn't work with eveything I need to do. 7:00 barely works. I mean, I wish I was feeling from him something like, "My girlfriend is moving so I'm going to help move her. I gotta get there and help her soon as I can so we can get this done. She's not feeling well so she really needs me." What I'm feeling from him is, "My girlfriend is moving and she wants me to help her and I'll do what I can once I get there, but I don't know when that will be. She's stressed out but it's not going to be a big deal." Just, yeah... He forgot about calling me last night. He said he was going to but then he didn't. And now he's going to be late getting here, which throws off my night and will be harder on me. Yet, I am getting the message that he doesn't think this is a big deal. And it really, really is. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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