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| Stressed, just a bit 2006, April 21 - 12:00 a.m.
I'm sitting here in my room and I am so unprepared to move. I have a handful of boxes that I never threw away and they're all holding books, DVDs... yeah, just books and DVDs. There are so many more books that need to be packed up. There are plenty of small personal items and decor things that need to be packed, plus cookware, dishes and my food. And I have no boxes. The grocery store said to call at 1:00 a.m. to see if there would be any boxes. If there were I would need to claim them by 7:00 that morning. So, if there are boxes, I will need to go right over and get them tonight. It really is insane. I feel so disorganized. Things in this room have been cramped up for two years and there is the kind of dirt and dust build-up in nooks and crannies that you would expect plus some. I'm nowhere near prepared... I have changed over my address to everything now, bank, visa, bone marrow donation, christian children's fund, and I've set up phone, internet and cable. So, that's pretty good. I did give my first month's rent over today. I had given last month's and now I'm paid up. I signed my massive lease and I was given my keys. I went into my new home and it was good. The appliances were new and it turns out I have blinds. It felt good to be inside the unit and to know it was mine. I walked around the whole place deciding where I would put all of my things and where I would hang my pictures. It's just enough space and although I have no view from my balcony, I like what I do see. It's a residential street and I can feel like I'm not so in the city, even though, if anything, I'm more downtown there than I am here. An hour until I can find out about boxes. I've barely slept for days and it doesn't look good for me tonight if I have to run a 1:00 a.m. errand. I've been trying to stay calm and collected but every now and then I get a nervous feeling in my stomach. I can't eat really well. Partly that's due to worrying about money. If I don't eat, I can save some. Which, I know, is unhealthy. I'll eat tomorrow. I'll need to because I'll need my energy for moving some boxes over to the new place with Ross. He'll be driving me. But speaking of him, he went on a "secret mission" to Toys R Us and wouldn't share why. He and a friend were gone for four hours and when they came back he gave me a present. They didn't go to Toys R Us, they went to a bead store I like and got me a beading board and some really great beads. He said it was because I had been feeling sad. I had cried from moving stress the night before and that's the only sad moment with him I could think of. So that was really sweet. I liked that and I was really touched. Thoughtful presents are so amazing to receive. They really were really cool beads like nothing else I had. I made a necklace with some of them last night. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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