I was finally sent my package for ocas!! Hurrah! The portfolio requirements are rather time consuming and hard. *sigh* But that's alright. I'm up to the challenge.

I want journalism! I want to write, I really do. Art is great, art is fun, art makes me happy...but I don't feel like it's where I'm meant to be. I'm writing in a diary every day for pete's sake, I'm enjoying myself, I like to write for an audience... I feel like I'm being spoken to. As though I'm being called. Illustration seemed like the natural course of action for me; journalism is beginning to seem right.

Brent is being very supportive, as is Ella who I have just recently spoken with. She has apparently been reading my diary on the sly, though somehow I am not bothered as I had guessed she would. I'm a suspicious young fart but I was right in this regard and am quite pleased with myself.

Brent and I are planning on going to China Town on Thursday and I shall be travelling alone to Toronto to see Ella on the following Tuesday. My dad would shit kittens if he knew that but seeing as there are enough cats in my house, I shall not be telling him.

I've been eating candy today. Plenty and plenty of candy. Argh. I still need to eat supper! I want to maintain a healthy diet of normal food. Werther's Originals and Life Savers don't count.

My 2D assignment really sucked. I was out of practice with the damn guash. steph's looked so nice! It was so well done I was mesmerized. If I'm going to be submitting that piece 'o crap to illustration I'd better redo it.

Illustration, journalism! Ahh! What will I choose? Of course I likely will have the matter decided for me, as my portfolio likely wont be good enough, but that's besides the matter. If I was so lucky as to make it into illustration would I take it? Maybe not. I've never felt like a real artist. Maybe that's because I'm not. Do I really want to illustrate?

I want t be a cartoonist. It's got the best of both worlds. Maybe I should look more closely at journalism. Maybe. *sigh*