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| Bastard 2002, February 21 - 7:34 p.m.
I have no idea how this happened but look here Weird huh? Someone made a small write up about my diary. Candle in the Hurricane http://jendra.diaryland.com/ I didn't write that, someone else did. Very bizarre. I don't know what to make of this. On a different topic, Brent and I got in a big fight. It had to do with my lack of sleep and headache. Around 1:45 this afternoon someone started playing really loud music again. It more or less continued until 5:30. My headache wasn't doing very well and since I have only accumulated about 6-8 hours in 3 days I wasn't impressed. I wanted Brent to call the front desk and make a complaint about the noise. He was of the opinion that if I had the problem, I should do it. Obviously being a guest in residence, I had a problem with this. Not to mention that everyone at the front desk knows me by now and would know that a guest was making demands of them. Not my perogative. I'm not a paying tenant so I have no right to make other paying tenants stop making noise. He refused to make any sort of move to make them stop. He did bang a broom stick on the ceiling, as the bass and guitar was coming from upstairs. That of course didn't do a thing. Except hurt my head more. But hey, it's better then just calling the front desk...? Their music was so loud I could hear lyrics. What made him think they could hear his little broom tapping? He also insinuated the whole afternoon that I was making a big deal out of nothing. You don't mess with a cranky, unrested, highly irritable woman when she is re-developing a heachache that kept her awake all night thatalso happened to take hours to get rid of. No you certainly do not. The funny thing was he didn't know why I was mad at him. I kept telling him that if the music didn't stop I was going to leave. He didn't seem to take my comments, or me for that matter, very seriously. An hour and a half ago I'd had enough. I began putting on my clothes and packing my stuff up. He asked me where I was going. "Home, I can't take it anymore." I had repeatedly asked him to make an effort. Just try to make them stop. I'm in pain. Try. All I wanted was a tad of effort on his part to make me feel better. He got irritated with me and said, "Fine, look I'm doing it." It was a little late for that. How selfish. He wanted me to stay even though my head was exploding and my patience was gone. I had put up with it all night and all afternoon. How good of him, begrudgingly ready to do one little favour as a last resort. I left anyway and he insisted on taking me home. I was in no mood for his company but he followed me anyway. He still didn't get it. I had to spell it out for him. I was exhausted. I was cranky. All I wanted was for the noise to stop and he made no attempt to do so. It's very characteristic of him. Always unwilling to fight for me. I don't mean violence, but standing up for me. If I broke up with him he'd likely just sit there in shock and then not try to work things out. Unwilling to fight even me for me. I need someone who will support me. He does in other ways, but I need someone who will support me when I need help; not just woth words, but with actions. Even just small actions. Like making a complaint if someone's unreasonable amount of noise pollution is making my head explode. He would just rather ignore it then try to help. He was also very frustrated. At me though, not at the people who were driving me crazy. Like I was making my own head hurt by somehow not closing my ears. It's really a test of character. If someone says nice things to you and compliments you then they're considerate and think highly of you. If they perform acts of kindness then you know they really care. If they refuse to stand up for you though, they may not care as much as you thought. I've been going on and on about this, but I have had it these past couple days. No sleep and no support from Brent.. he's been acting like my sleeping problem is an inconvenience to him. He has been making it about him. I hate that. Right now I hate him too. At the same time I want him to icq me again. He has already and has pretended that everything is fine. Silly little Jendra has gotten her silly little self all worked up. Females are like that. Them and their uncontrollable emotions. I hate being condecended to. I want him to icq me again so I can let him have it. Who does he think he is, pretending that everything is fine?? Bastard. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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