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| Hooked on a Feeling 2002, May 15 - 2:16 a.m.
Right now I am ashamed to say that I am addicted to Hot or Not. It's a place where you can rate other people's attractiveness and submit yourself for a rating. Oh, it's just terrible and yet I can't stop rating people. I had sex today. Yes, I do feel it is worth mentioning because it has been awhile. Mostly the lull is due to the lack of oppurtunity and then when the oppurtunity arose, I had kidney stones plus my period. Oh, how funny. But today was a day of relief, we did it twice. We even tried out a new position, so I'm feeling adventurous. Brent spent a lot of extra time with forplay as well, making me one happy pappy. *does a jig* I'm going to sleep well tonight. Brent told me that he finally was able to tell his parents why I had to spend the night. He didn't give them the full story but he gave them enough information to know a bit of what I have to deal with from my dad. I am now apparently allowed to spend the night any time I feel I need to, in Brent's room even. I'm assuming they figure it's for comforting, which is considerate because being close to Brent is helpful. Plus it's realistic. I spend the night with him in Oakville anyway. I don't plan on going over there unless I really feel like I need to. It would feel a little awkward with Brent's parents knowing why I'm there. Either way though, I'm happy to have him in my life. Not just because he saves me but because he wants to and does. He loves me. Now speaking of this, we have recently let what we have been thinking out on the table. We want to get married. This is not a formal proposal, there is no promising, we just know that we are in love and that we plan to marry after college providing we are still together and happy. It will have been 4 years then and that is plenty of time to know if you should be with someone. We talked about where we want to live, what kind of house we want to have, how many children we want, ways we want to raise kids...etc. We're in sync - children wise anyway, we've really talked about that. Most divorices occur over disputes with money, kids, careers... I want to know that Brent and I are on the same page. I have a few years to do that too ^_^ The whole discussion made me feel comfortable and loved. It's a sweet feeling to know that someone wants to plan their life with you in it. I just wonder about his schooling. He has two years of his program left. If he wants to start his own business, he will take the post grad program. If he wants to work for someone else that is a couple more years of school at university. I don't want him to go, I'll be honest. That's five more years. I will not marry a student, I want to marry someone who is financially prepared to start a life with me. And a ring, lets not forget that. Yes, a ring is what I am expecting in order to be engaged. To me it symbolizes that a man is financially ready to marry. He shouldn't scrimp for the ring, he should be able to afford it. Brent knows how I feel. He finds it amusing but he agrees. I can't believe I'm at a stage in my life where I am thinking about marriage. Not until I'm 22 or 23 but still. It may sound a bit young but I want a couple years of married bliss before I have children and if I want three, I can't wait until I'm in my late twenties to have them; it's not healthy after 35. Brent and I don't consider ourselves engaged. We just have an understanding that we expect to be after school. But then, most of our friends have already guessed that. Oh well, we'll just go on denying it until the day comes. It's more fun that way. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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