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| On Equal Ground 2002, June 17 - 8:13 p.m.
I was just going through my e-mail today and I came across a forward from Annabelle. It said that Hotmail added a feature last year that allowed businesses that had a passport account with Hotmail to view my e-mail address and registration information. To have an account with Hotmail you must have a passport account. I believe the same goes for MSN messanger, though I am not certain. Anyhow, without asking their users, the opperators or Hotmail just clicked the boxes for the existing users showing that the users agreed to share this personal information. And I thought that increasing my junk mail security would make the junk go away. I unclicked the boxes and we'll see what kind of mail I receive. If anyone else with a Hotmail account wishes to do this, just go to Option sand then to personal profile. At the bottom there should be some boxes that you don't remember checking. I am rather annoyed at Hotmail, but happy at the same time. I'm happy that I now know why I've been getting so much damn junk. I have been thinking of Brent a bit lately. There once was a time when he cared far more for me than I ever thought I could return. Now, I think we have equalled out. Perhaps that what we both mistook for his love, was really infatuation and now has blossomed into a more mature and balanced love. Love allows you to argue and fight with your partner and then make up on equal ground. It lets you get irritated over the little things your partner does but love them anyway, and accept them, flaws and all. A year ago I would have ever thought of crying in Brent's arms. I wouldn't argue with him either. He never let me, he was always trying to please me. We weren't equals. While I loved the attention he gave me, he wasn't my partner. Now he is. I love him for it. He used to have a desperate look to him, like he was afraid I would leave him. Now our trust for each other is so complete and a part of our relationship, I only see it when I stop to think about us. We had a lovely car ride last night. When he was driving me home he told me had a second wind, the kind he used to get before college. We'd drive around K-town for an hour before he'd actually get me home. That happened last night for the first time in almost a year. It was a treat; we've always had our best talks in the car. Our best arguments too. We both have an understanding that we are not to go to bed angry. So when then car ride is over, we have to have resolved our fight. It's a good system. Perhaps I'm thinking so much of him because I know I won't see him until Friday. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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