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| Sex For Dummies 2002, August 16 - 7:30 p.m.
I went out to dinner with Catholic, Annabelle and Ella. When the four of us are together we are like Sex and the City. I'm Carrie, Catholic is Charlotte, Annabelle is Miranda and Ella is Samantha. We get together over meals and discuss each other's sex lives and men in general and the things they do that baffle us. I brought us the previous night of very unsatisfying sex. I told them all of it and how he treats forplay like a chore. How he considers it work and how he likes to lay back and have me touch him and lick him and kiss him with his arms at his sides. How he still after over a year of sleeping together still hasn't mastered my body and doesn't pay attention to what makes me feel good. They were all bewildered that he doesn't adore foreplay. If he is attracted to me, wouldn't he want to touch, nibble, carress, lick, kiss and all that jazz? If he loves then wouldn't he want to do everything in his power to make me feel good? That is what I have been wondering all along. I talked to Rock Star about it today and she was just as horrified as the rest of them. They all really like Brent as a person but don't understand why is so sexually selfish. As Ella was wondering, doesn't he see sex as something we can share? Isn't better when we are both loving it? Can't he see this? Annabelle thought we should take a break. Maybe it would get him to appreciate what he has. I don't know if a break would do us good or not. Maybe. But as a last resort, I think. Catholic thought that perhaps the situation as a whole wasn't as bad it it sounded, as she mentioned in the car, and that we just needed to talk about it and that I should abstain from sex until Brent is ready to get it right. On the phone, Rock Star suggested I buy him a book. And I did today. 'Sex for Dummies." I'm not kidding. I also bought a hi-lighter and hi-lighted everything I felt was of relevance to his sensual education. I am going to give it to him and there will not even be a mention of us having sex until it has been read. Then we will talk about it and I will tell him how he has been making me feel with regards to sex. This problem will be fixed. I don't deserve to be treated like a thiing. I am not here to service him and this whole idea that my pleasure isn't a necessity when it comes to sex will be eraticated. He has had plenty of time to learn and he will! And soon! But in other less frustratiing news, we're going to a wedding reception after work tomorrow. I'm kind of looking forward to it, I haven't been to a wedding since my Aunt Mariam's when I was 8. I was famous that day for standing in the middle of the empty dance floor in front of my uncle David, who was master of ceremonies and in the middle of giving a speech, with a spoon on my nose. Kids always do funny things at weddings but I never knew I was one the kids who had. I only vaguely remember the spoon but I didn't know I had been so public about it. At the wedding, I'll be all prettied up with nice clothes, jewelery, make up and we'll eat a nice dinner and dance and have a nice time. I also plan on giving him the book then. And now I will go. I still have a bit more hi-lighting to do. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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