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| The Goatee 2003, February 27 - 12:50 a.m.
I went to dinner and a movie with my dad and Jamie. It was kind of surreal. We were a family. Dad had money. I have no idea how or why either. I decided not to question it. He spent quite a bit but I didn't question that either. Better he spend it on us than other less important things. But it was fun. I had the best time with those two since I don't even know when. Part of it had to do with going out as a family, part of it had to do with not hearing about money problems or otherwise. Dad was also in a good mood, which can be a rare thing. It's been a good reading week and I don't want it to end. I have to go back to school and be an entertainment editor. That can be stressful. If I were smarter about it, I would have chosen to be a hit or miss editor. Then I wouldn't have to worry about arranging interviews, photo ops and making call backs. I'm alright with calling people but it can make me nervous doing it for the paper. I'm afraid of looking unprofessional. I wonder if everyone else is as stressed and scared of screwing up the paper as I am. Also being an editor means a lot more responsibility and work. I was under the impression that we didn't have to do stories during the week because of that, but that doesn't seem to be the case. Gah... I think my strengths are more in writing and design. The web page stuff? Easy as heck. Writing? No prob. Organizing? uh... Using InDesign? Hmm... Also! In one class we have to make a website in a group of four. I should have jumped in and volunteered immediately to design the page. But I didn't and now I regret it. It would have been more fun. Plus! I'm also so aggravated with this one guy in my group. He's goatee guy. So we had to add content to our pages and I have inadvertently deleted my newsbriefs. I had a hard copy so I had to type it back up and it would take me 15 minutes. We had 3 hours to work further on our sites so no biggie, right? Well, goatee gives me the good job sarcasm that I had expected. Fine, I made a mistake, I had that coming. Every group member can jab me once like that, haha now let me fix my mistake. Right? Well, no... Goatee knows everything and is the unofficial boss of the group and decides I haven't learned my lesson. He thinks I need further scolding. "Why would you do that?" Yes, why would I do that? I suppose I did it because I'm an inconsiderate idiot who wanted to inconvenience my group. At least that's the answer I gave him. Express frustration with me. Do not beat a dead horse, especially when it's my dead horse. Do not try to make me feel stupid. Anyhow, my outburst shocked the two guys in my group but it made Goatee leave me alone. I have a really bad temper and I can keep it under control unless I am provoked. Then I blurt out mean, biting things that make me look bad. It was not my finest moment though I think it may make him think twice before badgering me again. But it didn't keep him entirely out of my anger radar. I mentioned I wanted to make nice buttons for the site, to make it look more professional. The one guy was fine with it, easy going as he is. Goatee on the other hand wanted to give me a list of boring chores to do for the site while he played video games (after scolding me for playing games.) I maintained that I wanted to make buttons, because I'm good at such things and so he goes to a button making site to produce some generic buttons. Ugh! Where does he get off telling me what my contribution to the site will be? I can be useful in making the site look more attractive. I have an artist's sense. I'm so used to people thinking I'm creative and artistic that when I get elbowed out of things like that, I get upset. God, so much more I can say too. I've been ranting in my mind for a good half hour now. But it's time for bed. I'm sure that when I see Rock Star tomorrow, I'll rant to her. She usually enjoys a well worded, sarcastic tear down of the character of someone she doesn't know. I know I do. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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