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| Letting him go 2003, May 25 - 12:13 a.m.
Steps are in place and the wheels are in motion. Jamie is moving out of Dad's house. The cats are going to be homeless and need a place to live asap for the three remaining months that I'm in K-Town. I'll be cutting off the phone line effective this month. And then I will remove myself from my father's life. It is going to be a very stressful week. First off, my Aunt Debbie is helping me, which is essential. I desperately need help with this. We need to find Jamie an affordable, suitable place in town with reliable people. We need to get him his own personal bank account. We need to have his government money re-directed. My dad has sent me all sorts of numerous threats since everything started happening. No school money from his work, the cats are being kicked out, no more dental plan...etc. He likes to sit down and figure out ways to hurt me. I had to bring my brother a box of food because my dad told him he wasn't allowed to eat any of the food in the house. It reminds me of the time he wouldn't let my brother use the shower because he forgot to tell him we needed cat litter. But it is all falling into perspective. I have recently been told what one of my dad's biggest problems is. It's not something I will mention here; it's far too personal but it's a bad situation, other than his alcohalism. This knowledge hurts me, wounds me really. Any pretense that he has ever been a good father ever has been shattered for me. I can't believe that there is anything decent left in him at all. I have lost all faith in my father. Which is why I have to let him go. I will leave it at that. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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