I got really good feedback from some people for my online video restaurant review. The chief suggested we make it a regular feature. Score! It was a lot of fun, I completely look forward to doing it again.

But on a more somber note, living with Brent has both its ups and downs. We live well together, like two friends. On the downer side, we live like two friends. Friends. I think we are both seeing it come to this.

I still love him but I feel it evolving into another kind of love. I think his love for me is heading in the same direction. In the next seven months, I don't know how this will play out.

You see...and this is hard to put down in words but... we haven't been intimate. At all. We kiss and hug but nothing more. I keep thinking that maybe I want to or that maybe I should but then I think, "it's not going to last" and then I pull back.

But is it fair? If I want to have sex and he wants to have sex and we live together and are essentially fated to be together for the next seven months then is it a good idea to be physical with each other rather than writhe in frustration and turn on each other?

I've been struggling with this for a little while and then there is the fear of pregnancy. Now that I'm no longer on the pill, I am feeling my sexual side and am now vulnerable to sperm violating my poor eggs. Do I want this? No. Sex? Yes. Pregnancy? No. Sex with Brent? Undecided.

I think I should and if I want sex, he is the one it should come from. Who else? Besides, I don't love anyone else. I wish I were in love with him.

But lately, all I can think about is this other guy. This one other. But no more. No more on that. He is not for me.

Perhaps it's just another way my heart is showing me it's time to move on.

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