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| The virgin 2003, October 26 - 2:52 p.m.
Today marks the day I asked Brent to be my rebound. We celebrate our anniversary on Halloween but I think today is worthy of mention anyway. We had sex last night. It was the first time in months. I felt a range of different emotions to be back in the sex again, though nothing negative. It was Brent sitting me down and telling me he had needs that got me going. I have needs too and we love each other so it really didn't seem like a good idea to hold back. Sex complicates relationships... it strengthens strong relationships but complicates things all the same. But I was thinking a lot about virginity today. This guy in class told me he was a virgin, a 20 year old virgin he said and he wasn't ashamed of it. That is he laughed it off and sounded a little embarrassed. I'm very good at reading people. But it was nice to hear. I already knew he was a virgin, 9 times out of 10 I can guess if someone hasn't had sex. They have a charming innocence. I knew Brent was a virgin when I met him. He had the innocence. I know that when I was a virgin I had it. I probably radiated with it. It's just a matter of suddenly knowing how natural your body can feel doing something so... well let's face it, intense and bizzarre that triggers a change. I swear that you can look into a person's eyes and just know. There is almost a curiousity or something that goes away after sex. Yes, that is what it is; no knew look arrives, just something small goes away. But this 20 year old genuinely seemed a little embarrassed about his small lack of knowledge. I know 20 year old virgins other than him. I also know 21 year old virgins, 22 year olds, 23... I really don't think it's a mark of honour to be a non virgin. I think a lot of people do it young to get it over with or because they are afraid there is a stigma or that it means they are unattractive. I think it's a mark of honour if you can say you've been in a loving relationship and shared yourself with another person. I can't see anything so special about losing it to a one night stand who will never remember your name or to someone you thought wouldn't like you as much otherwise, or for some other unromantic reason. It's really unfortunate and unenviable when that happens. So I commend this guy. Be a virgin, be fine with it, wait with it, don't waste it on just anybody. Just don't be embarrassed. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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