 |
||
| Change 2004, August 16 - 11:41 p.m.
I really want to have sex. I don't care who knows (which should be pretty obvious as I am writing this in my online diary Ha!) I'm thinking a lot about Ross and how much I would have liked to have had sex with him before he left. But alas, I am not on the pill and I am not desperate for lovin' that I will risk pregnancy. So I intend on going on the pill again. It's the best option. The less invasive the birth control, the better I think, particularly in this case. Hehe, he said he had condoms but didn't bring them because he thought it would have seemed presumptuous. I recalled a time when Brent and I were making out on the couch and I heard the metallic crinkle of a condom wrapper as he reached into his pocket. Speaking of presumptuous! He's not like other guys who would have brought them in the case of even .01% chance of sex (like Brent, for example.) I find things like that really endearing. I've called Catholic's mom about the reception hall. I am hoping it is accessible. I am really, really hoping it is. I can't say for sure why but it's very important to me that he come to Catholic's wedding. Brent will be there and that puts one in the negative column because I'm not entirely certain how ok he'd be with me bringing a date... but then if he brought one I would be happy for him. I actually think Brent would really like Ross if he didn't know that Ross and I were seeing each other. Hmm... he's on a plane right now to London. He'll be landing in a few hours. I wonder if he's thinking of me. But putting thoughts of him aside, sexual and otherwise, I am going to see Ella tomorrow, which will be fun. I'm also kinda jazzed about this job I'm applying for (the one she e-mailed me about.) Who knows if I'll even get an interview, but putting myself out there feels good. I'll also be making bracelets in the afternoon for Catholic's shower. At the very least, I'll be buying the beads for them. And then there is the Toronto Ex to get excited about! Yay! And I've been re-working a short story I wrote a couples years ago. It's gratifying to see that I have improved. The story was still decent but now I feel much more confident about the writing. I remember writing it the first time around and feeling bad about some of the wording and the lack of description. I also read back in my diary a bit and it seems I have been writing my book for a year now. A year. I have mixed feelings about that. Some poor feelings, like the fact that I have not progressed as far as I would have liked by now, but mostly I feel great. I'm still sticking with it. I'm dedicated to finishing, no matter how long it takes. I have started many other stories and planned other books that I have just given up on. And this is such a random thought, but I want to look older. I'm working on myself a bit. I'm exploring other options for my appearance. Not that I'm unhappy with how I look now, but I kind of want a change. Everything else is changing. I think I want to change with it. Thank You - 2006, June 7
|
|||