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| Pointy 2004, September 24 - 12:21 p.m.
My fitting went well enough. I was there for a full two hours. See, I'm really, really short and my torso is incredible short. I also have a wider ribcage. The big poofy 50s dresses just didn't fit me. So... after getting me to try on various blouses and skirts I was fitted in to a past knee length, pink pencil skirt. Ugh... I really wanted something cute and big and poofy, but no luck. I'll be wearing one of those blouses that young women used to wear then but only older women wear now. I'll also wear a cardigan and get this - a pointy bra, '50s style! Haha! I don't know what they'll want from me in terms of make-up and hair. I'm only an extra so who knows how much they'll bother with me. Probably just enough to make me look authentic. Who knows. But... Mary and Steph will be there! I saw them coming out of my fitting. This is awesome. I'll know two people while I'm there from 6pm-2am for three days. Yay! I still don't know where the filming location is but I'll know by Sunday. Sunday is also the time I'll most likely see Ross again. It's ridiculous how much I miss him, even though I only last saw him three days ago. He's in Ottawa now, visiting friends and family. We've talked a wee bit about him moving there, as it's his plan. Sledge hockey try-outs are at the end of January, so he'll be fairly busy getting ready for that. I'm torn between that selfish love that wants him with me all the time and the unselfish love that wants him to do all the other things that will make him happy, even if it will pull him away from me. The unselfish part wins though. I want him to do these things. Like be with his friends and family, and play hockey, even it that means him being five hours away. I want to be a part of his life, I don't want to take it over. I've been thinking of my own future. How long will it take me to find work here? Everyone else in my class is finding work... well not all of them. Many are doing more school. But so many are getting jobs. Mostly from their placements or from the ability or willingness to move to nowheresville and write for a small town paper. I had little options but to move to Toronto back in May, and I stand by my choice, even now, though it leaves me without those kind of options... I'm finding it hard to keep faith that I'll find something. Eventually I will, I have to. There are too many jobs out there not to. I was warned I may have to wait up to six months out of graduation to find something. That brings me to the end of October, or if you count my time in placement at Bridal Magazine, 'til the end of December. If I don't have a job by my 22nd birthday then I just don't know... Ross doesn't have to work. His financial life has been taken care of because of his accident. I envy the freedom, not the disability that came with it, but the lack of job related stress. I know some people envied my inheritance because I have no student debt, though no one would be willing to give up their mother to have what I have. Trade-offs... Un-asked for trade-offs. Nothing on the job boards today... My day will have to consist of laundry and groceries. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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