Ross just left. He's giving blood today at three. I hate when he leaves. I've had him with me since Thursday night and it's Wednesday afternoon now, but I still hate it. I start Bridal Magazine this Monday and all I could think when I saw him leave today was, "It's begun."

And it has. He'll come over on Saturday and stay until Sunday night. Then, while I'm working at Bridal Magazine on Monday, he'll be in Ottawa, looking for an apartment. If he finds one, he can be living in Ottawa as soon as November. Maybe December.

I've been over this before, in my head, in my diary and with my friends, but it isn't any easier to come to terms with. I'm kind of in a long distance relationship now, but because we have so much time for each other, it hasn't felt too bad.

But five hours away, instead of two makes life harder. Then if I start working before the end of the year, couple distance with a five day work week. Then if he makes the team in the New Year, add a busy practice schedule.

I think I can live with seeing him on weekends. That leaves a week to miss him inbetween. But possibly not at all when hockey starts...

Hockey is only temporary. It's not forever. The season only goes on for so long. I know that. But I mean, that's still months of not seeing him. How many months, I don't even know.

Can I handle that? Having a boyfriend I love so much but can't even see? It is beginning. We were so lucky to have so much of each other early on. Long distance could never be as easy as we made it. Only doctor's or dentist appointments and other friends or obligations kept us apart and then we'd go on to spend another week together.

This is going to be difficult. It's going to be very difficult. I have no idea how well I'll cope.

I still haven't recieved any answer from Brent. Our friendship is still very much up in the air.

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