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| The Call 2005, September 15 - 9:10 a.m.
Brent and I had this epic talk on the phone last night. It was a big night for phone calls and I felt very popular. Ross called earlier than he usually does, which was really nice. Catholic called me back and we caught up. Wilma's daughter called me and back (I had left a message suggesting Ross run by today at 1:00 pm on his way back to Toronto). Incidently, she was a little snippy and suggested her mother needed to be protected in case "things get nasty." My grandfather dies, Wilma keeps everything including things that belonged to my Grammie and is definitely planning on keeping all of it herself, regardless of Poppie's children. And yet my family might get "nasty"? Pretty nice coming from the side that attempted to keep one of my family's heirlooms. Hateful woman. Somehow it Wilma's daughters that bear my resentment. Probably because the small amount of time I have spent with them they have been cold. They've always given me a bad feeling, which somehow didn't happen with Wilma. Anyway, Brent called last while I was watching my Pride and Prejudice DVDs. I had been interupted all night and in the end never got around to finishing it even though I was a half hour away from the ending. We talked about a million things, including his life plans, his one night stands, what he's doing these days... all good, interesting stuff. Then we tackled his logic. See, if left to his own devices he can't often come up with rational conclusions if he's mulling over something he isn't happy with. He's very focused and in the end will follow one train of thought and carry it through to the most extreme end and form his opinion there. So we talked about why I brought Ross to the wedding. We talked about how I waited until I left the apartment to break up wiht him. We talked about aspects of our past relationship all across the board. Frankly speaking, no one knows him as well as I do. In many ways he's just like me, if I were also a neurotic male genuis. I can get in his head, which is hard to do, and I can always meet him at his level and bring in some logic. He described me as being a part of his brain that is missing. When we talk on the phone and he can't see me we're so in synch that it's like having a conversation with an imaginary friend that lives in his head. He said when we broke up he had been seeing us as one person and it was so shocking when I ended it because it was almost like he didn't know I could leave. But it's all very true. He self-admittedly functioned better when we were together because I acted as a sort of Jimminey Cricket logic-based conscience. He despaired over the phone coming finally to the conclusion that he needed me. Not as a girlfriend again, but just in general because I understood him and could organize his thinking. And he does, he does need me. So we'll be talking more often than we have been. This is the direction our friendship is taking and it's pretty much the only natual course. It's like what it was when we were together only without any pretense of a relationship, which makes it feel better and right. Bizarre, what you can mean to a person. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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