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| Push it 2001, October 9 - 12:16 p.m.
So I got home last night around 9 I think. We were aiming for 8 but the traffic was so bad we missed the 6 '0 clock train and took the 7. We left my house at 3 and got home at 9. That's 6 hours of transportation!! Anyhow, we were both fairly hungry, me more so. Brent's parents had made up turkey sandwiches for the ride up. I had been reading "Our Lady of Lost and Found" and my stomach wasn't feeling right, likely because of the reading. That sometimes happens. I really wanted a turkey sandwich but I didn't want to further infuriate my stomach by adding food to it so I remained hungry. Once back in Oakville we went to Licks. I talked about my Thanksgiving and about that little brat who reminded me of what it was like to have a frustrating younger sibling. I wanted to talk to someone about it, someone who hadn't known me as a child just so I could get it off my chest to a non-judgemental, unbiased ear. Brent has usually been good to talk to, I had high expectations of him. Well, at the time I didn't think they were so high, I was just accustomed to him being supportive. Now I see that they were high. He just stared blankly at me and acted like what I had to say was trite. Later I asked why he hadn't listened to me. He replied that I should deal with it. "He doesn't so it anymore right? Then deal with it!" That infuriated me. There is a differance between complaining about the present and venting about the past. I wasn't saying things like "It's so unfaaair" "Why me?" "My life was soooo hard." I was saying "I felt this..." and "It always made me so frustrated." I didn't expect him to have any big emotional response, afterall, it's a common problem that kids have, it's over and I'm fine. I just wanted him to listen like maybe what I was saying was important to me; not important, but important to ME. Anyway, I went outside to wait for the cab which we had called in the middle of his 'deal with it.' He followed and I said he was mean. He maintained "Deal with it." Then he tried to kiss me! I would have none of it. When the cab reached my houe I tossed some money at him for my share of the ride and went in without a word. He had tried to hand me back the five but I shut the car door. I didn't stew about it all night or anything but I'm still a little pissed. Just the whole "deal with it." I know perfectly well by now how and when to deal with things. I know the difference between a big problem and a little problem. I don't need nor appreciate someone telling me such a rude, irritable thing when I'm sharing something. I guess what really pisses me off is him not being supportive of me as he usually is just because I wasn't talking about anything of interest to him. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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