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| Random 2006, February 16 - 2:39 p.m.
I feel really empty inside. I have a large and vague feeling why. I feel incapable of being happy right now and so tired. I can't imagine anything lasting. Everything that makes me feel good could leave or end. One of my cousins attempted suicide a few days ago. I feel partly scared, anxious, alone and I'm trying not to think too much. I don't want to cry at work or in public. I feel like I'm waiting for things to end, waiting for Debby to leave my dad so he will revert back into the same man I had to cut out of my life. Waiting for Ross to end the relationship, just because it feels like a possibility. Waiting for the next person to randomly die. Trevor could be it. I just feel empty. I can't really say anything more. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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