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| A dilema of sorts 2001, April 16 - 10:31 p.m.
So, entry number two...perhaps this one will be more eventful then the last. Shall I introduce myself? I'm an 18 year old Candian girl-short Canadian girl at that; A cat lover with two of these perfect pets to love the piss out of; an anime fan who is looking forward to anime north in less then two months! This is me. The girl who can't write a proper diary entry. I prefer to say journal anyway. I'm working on a costume these days to wear to anime north ^_^ with the help of my friend, Caitlin and her mom (who is my sewing saviour). I'm going to be Ellis, a video game girl from a game I have never really played at length. But she looks cool, so I'm happy :D I got my formal dress for graduation. I'm so happy with it. It needs some altering but other than that, it's perfect. Blue... blue is my favorite colour. It's lovely. Hmm... I see someone online...someone I used to be very emotionally attached to. An ex boyfriend of the long distance variety. He and I and 2 other people (Cait and her old boyfriend) had a friend journal. We'd mail it along every 3 days. After we broke up He said he wanted to keep it going and then in the end he kept it. We haven't spoken since, though god knows I've tried. Now we don't speak. Van (that's his icq nickname) hasn't been online in months and now he's online all the time. To acknowledge or not acknowledge, there in lies my dilema. I wrote to him that I would never try to contact him again. That was that. And now the bugger is online and I am unsure of what I should do. I could have so many quesitons answered. I could be thrown into a pit of fury. I could end up crying. I ...don't know how I should approach this situation... I'm scared. A little nervous. And annoyed. Annoyed that he doesn't talk to me. Annoyed that after all this time, he still can't say hi. What do you do when someone who has died in your eyes rises from the dead? Checked icq again. He is still there. Perhaps he's talking to a girlfriend. Perhaps talking to a friend. Maybe just flitting around on various sites...maybe wondering why I am not talking to him... Caitlin has always told me I dwell too much. I know she's right, Oh I know it. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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