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| Are you strong enough to be my man? 2001, April 22 - 8:09 p.m.
He's gay. Yes, He is. I'll start from the beginning. I wrote him the e-mail and then he came online and I waited awhile for him to presumably check his mail. After what seemed like too long, I icq'd him. I got a bubbling happy response and he explained that he just got his new computer a week ago and had no list. He then further explained that he spent the rest of the semester in England, thus his disappearance. The journal too, he had innocently forgotten it and I should have it back soon. Our next conversation involved him telling me he's gay. I really didn't know what to do with that. It somehow didn't surprise me, but I was still shocked. Sort of the way you're not surprised that someone you hate would make fun of you but still shocked that someone would be so mean. (I don't mean that he was mean, but it's the only example I can think of). So yeah... That's why he broke up with me. He was quite flattering about it... saying that if he couldn't be happy with me then he couldn't be happy with any girl. but my god... How do you feel in a situation like this? what was our relationship? What was I? He was never attracted to me at all? But yeah... questions, what else can I have in a time like this? So I wrote him a letter. I told him how I felt, what I was thinking, that I wished him well and then I told him about my current boyfriend, Brent. Van didn't like him cause Brent liked me while Van and I were together. But he's gay. It's not like he would have too much of a problem with it if any, right? Brent was my rebound after Van and it happened to work out nicely. I told Van that if he felt bad about any of what's happened, not to. Because of him, I'm with Brent and I'm happy. I told him I wished him the best. Being gay is a hard life to live. The world isn't as kind or tolerant as it should be. I hope he never has to experience that first hand... I'm happy for him because he says he's being true to himself. I hope he'll be happy. I also hope he's happy for me. We'll see. :) Thank You - 2006, June 7
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