 |
||
| Thoughts vs Actions 2001, May 7 - 3:24 p.m.
So today was an in-class co-op day and I realized that I will have enough hours to get the bloody co-op credit. I hate co-op, I really do. I hear the Maury Povich show upstairs. Some girl, who is probably 16, is crying. Likely she's sobbing uncontrollably because Mr. Fubu-wearing "I want to be slim shady", whom she loves so dearly, even though he beats her and slept with her sister on four non-consecutive occasions is not the father of either of her two kids, who are probably the end product of her illegal prostitution, which her ex-boyfriend pimps. But yeah. Entertainment. It would seem that Brent is in love with me. I have known this for awhile, but I have grown to take "I love you"s with a grain of salt. To me, they aren't real. I believe he thinks he feels so strongly, but in all honesty... I have come to the conclusion as of late that, yes, he is in love. Scared? Perhaps I am. I love him. The same way as he loves me? Debatable. I feel lucky to have him, I can rely on him, he's a good friend, and I feel very special around him. Underneath him though, after all that, he seems to feel something I don't understand. He seems to feel this intensity that leads me to belive that perhaps he doesn't know me as well as he could. I am not someone that can be felt that strongly about. I'm fairly simple. Not the stupid sort of simple, but the non-complex, non-mysterious variety. I don't think it's possible for someone to feel that way about me. It's confusing. I've tried to get him to tell me what makes him feel so in love, but I never push it. I don't want to sound as though I'm fishing. I would really like to know what about me appeals to him so much. My gay ex bf is online right now. We are not speaking. I'm not sure why. I would like to ask but something stops me. Maybe I'll ask now. I just did. I wait for a response. Writing while doing stuff to write about is interesting. Why do I get so nervous when I talk to Van? I always feel so scared. An apology with "you don't say hi either except for now." True, except that he has never said hi first. It's over. Not so bad. *sigh* So strange when I think of it. But now it's time for me to go. Valkyrie Profile awaits me. Thank You - 2006, June 7
|
|||