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Mama
2001, September 27 - 10:51 p.m.

I went to the Sega Playdium in Missisauga today. It was pretty cool. There was a virtual rollercoaster and it actually didn't suck. You go inside this box thing and face a screen and the box moves up and around and upside down and you get to a point when you're suspended in mid air. I'd go again. Brent came with me and we played pinball, 'the car game' and I think it's called air hockey. I won then he won the he won again. Grr... Well, he shan't always be the champ, I will beat him again. We're both good losers when we're alone. We just have fun playing games together. When we're in public though...whoo! Tension and competitive energy is flyin'.

He came back to my place for a wee little while when we got back. This is a rare occasion, as I have to ask in advance. As it turns out he could only stay til 7:30 which gave us 45 minutes to quietly enjoy each others company. My head wasn't feeling quite right. I think cause of all the noise at the Playdium.

So yeah...a week ago marked a two year anniversary. I had actually not even realized it til yesterday. My mom has now been dead for 2 years. I have had bad dreams all through the week. Not nightmares, those are rare with me. Just disturbing dreams where I wake up in a cold sweat and remember the dream and don't feel right for a couple hours. Sometimes I'm someone else trying to leave home, sometimes my mom is still alive and someone won't let me go to her and she for some reason hasn't come to me, sometimes I find her and she's going to die and she knows it but she avoids me and focuses on something/anything else in her short remaining time. I never usually speak of these dreams. Too many times I have had to listen to Hos talk about her dreams where 'someone is chasing her' and I didn't want to talk about mine cause I didn't want to sound like that. But now it seems alright to talk about them because anyone who reads this does so on their own free will. Thus I feel like I've expressed something to someone without actually having to. This diary does that for me alot.

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Thank You - 2006, June 7
The end - 2006, June 4
Canada Loves Me - 2006, May 31
In and Out - 2006, May 28
Where Have I Been? - 2006, May 25