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| Spin the Wheel of Mediocrity 2001, December 10 - 4:40 p.m.
Wow, what a rant I had last night, if night is really the right word. I didn't wind up sleeping. Not one bloody bit. I tried though; around 4:30 I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes. Nothing happened. I think I had fits of sleep that would last for about 15 minutes or so, but for the most part, I didn't sleep a wink. I feel alright. I got my 3rd wind a little while ago when I had lunch with Brandy and Stpeh. But that brings me to my day... I had drawing today and I thought that perhaps my mark would rise a grade. It didn't. I remained a C+ in drawing. I tried to remind myself that a C+ at Sheridan is like a B+ everywhere else but it didn't make me feel all that better. Sheridan is the best in Illustration and if I can't go with the best then I don't want it. I don't want to be a half assed illustrator. What school you go to makes a difference in the quality of education you recieve and how people look at your work.I've seen the stuff that OCAD students do and compared to Sheridan, it's not really all that impressive. *sigh* I have before me, three options. 1) If I'm fortunate, I go to Sheridan again next year for Illustration. 2) If I'm unfortunate, I go to Sheridan again next year for Social Service. 3) If I'm extremely fortunate, I become a cartoonist. I'll probably become a social service worker :( A lot of people have big expectations for me. Many people have said that they expect to see my work around some day. If I've drawn something for someone then they've asked me to sign it becasue my signature may become famous someday. I'll feel a little wrong if I become a social service worker. But it's a good, respectable, important job. I'd be truly making a difference. Fame though...that lures me back to my calling. I was meant to be a cartoonist. I've always done it. When I was in grade 7, when I was in grade 10, When I was in grade 12 and now I still have my cartoon strip growing with more and more ideas on the rise. I hate being uncertain about my future. I've never felt quite this way before. I've always known what I wanted to do. Now, I still know but going for the dream is becoming scarier by the day. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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