 |
||
| Unforgiven 2001, December 18 - 12:07 p.m.
Too much has been going on these past couple of days... Yesterday started out easily enough. I got up early, went online, had Caitlin over, went to the Cat Centre and got all my Christmas shopping done. I came home with a book to read as well. I read it. My dad comes home in a foul mood. It's about money, as it usually is. The monthly payments (don't ask if you don't already know...) haven't been made yet. Whenever this happens he gets very angry, then his anger manifests itself into other more bizzarre ways. He starts making somewhat paranoid connections about things having to do with my: aunt, me, Jamie, the inheritance, lawyers and God knows what else. Anyway, Jamie and I were able to ignore him telling us to more or less turn Christmas at Aunt Debbie's into a legal oppurtunity but he really started taking things too far. He had the nerve to tell me that I don't know pressure. The man hasn't been to college, he can't say for a fact that he knows anything about it. It's a lot of pressure. He then gives me the whole, both of my parents are dead thing.. They died when he was in his forties at different times. I understand that it's hard for him, but he goes even further to tell me that I know nothing about what it is like. He goes even further to tell me that his mother's death was harder on him then mine was on me because he knew his mother longer. What does that have to do with it? Does he wish his mother died in her forties while he was still a teenager? Anyway, that was going over the line. He barked at me that both of his parents had died, his WIFE had died and now his brother in law was dying. My grandparents had died, my MOTHER had died and my uncle was now dying. What gives him the right to tell me that it's all about him? He probably thinks that it's worse for him then it is for Eric and Ryan. And his WIFE? They were married 7 years and have been separated for 11. The only reason they didn't get a divorice is because neither one could afford it. How dare he make my mother's death about him. It affected him yes, it hurt him, yes...but as much as it hurt me? Debatable. If he really was holding such a candle for her, I'd like to know what all the other girlfriends were for. He had roughly 3-4 after they're separation. Christ... That is a button that he always pushes... Last visit I lent him 300 more dollars under the agreement that he would never use my mother in an argument again and that he would never try to kick me out of the house again on visits or the summer. He did both yesterday. He only loves me when I'm giving him money. Anyhow, he told me to get out and at first I wasn't going to but after awhile I couldn't take it anymore. He kept calling his friends and telling them that he was going to leave home to go to their place in Toronto for Christmas. I called Brent and he came and got me. The second I left the house my dad came out and locked the screen door and went back inside. I spent the night in the guestroom at Brent's. His family is nicer to me then my own dad. His mom gave me a chocolate advent calendar and is apparently knitting me a stocking. His sister gave me some pajamas to sleep in and in the morning Brent's mom gave me a toothbrush and Brent made me breakfast. I'm writing at Brent's house right now. Last night was ugly. I called my dad a monster. When he taunted me about leaving, I told him to go to hell. Then I called him a goddamn son of a bitch. Before I left I said this to him: "I love you, you know. That's why it hurts me when you do things like this." Then he locked the door. Apparently Jamie was banned from the net for a week and Dad was going to take peices of the computer to work with him so no one could use it. I don't know when I'll be able to make another entry. Merry Christmas. Thank You - 2006, June 7
|
|||