 |
||
| "I have a problem" 2002, January 5 - 3:26 p.m.
My dad came into my room this morning. He gave me a note. He has admitted he has a drinking problem. Last night I came home really late. Brent and I went out for a drive at 1 am til 2-ish. We always have great conversation that late at night. I'm more capable of talking when it's late; I don't know why. I went online when I got home and wrote an entry. My dad came home really late too; just a little while after me. He watched a movie and stayed up til I went to bed around 3. I don't know how long he stayed awake for after that. This morning he came in with a note. It said he had a problem, that he spent too much money and made a mess out of things. I told him it must have been hard to admit he had a problem. I gave him a hug. I was proud of him, I really was. I thought about everything. I had always wondered why he wasn't able to get by on his salary. I had an inkling that he drank a lot of it away but he always said that he didn't make enough. He doesn't; not enough to support his addiction to alcohal. I'm not giving him money this time. He owes me far more then he'll ever be able to repay me. He needs to learn... I can't be bailing him out. I have a limited amount of money; all the financial help I'll ever get from my mom, really. I just can't. I realized something though. My mom put in her will that she didn't want us to get our money til Jamie reached the age of 21. I didn't understand why for the longest time. I had no idea why she would put such a restriction on us. Didn't she trust us? It dawned on me this morning. She knew dad would borrow it. Everyone knew he would. They thought he would just take it, he said it was borrowing; it's all the same. I'll likely never see that money again. Because of his drinking. He wouldn't need any of it if he didn't have a drinking problem. I don't know what to do. He doesn't know what to do. I leave tomorrow and for all I know he'll go over to the bars again when I leave. I try to have faith in him. I'll try to have faith in him now. I pray that he'll have the strength to say no. Thank You - 2006, June 7
|
|||