 |
||
| Clean Slate 2004, February 16 - 1:41 p.m.
Ok... So this is pathetic... I have this online class called cybernation. It's techically on Thursdays but it's online so it's open all week and things are due by Friday night. I keep forgetting I have this course and I've missed a discussion and two quizzes and have been late for two discussions and have lost something like 13% because of it. It's getting stupid. And what really irriatates me is that I can't finish the class at my own pace, which would be all at once. Nooo.. Quizzes are only available weekly. I know I'll miss more. Wouldn't it be the most pathetic thing in the world to fail an online class? Interestingly enough, I can see it actually happening because of the way it's set up and because of the way I am. But on to more pleasant things... like Cuba! Less than a week from now, I am going to baking in the Cuban sun by a sparkling pool or the blue waters of a tropical beach, sipping free drinks with nothing to do but relaxing. I am getting really excited about this. Brent is already thrilled and researching the trip every single night. Apparently horseback riding on the beach is $5. Well, hell, why not? I bought a new pair of sandals for the occasion. I also have to try on all of my shorts to make sure they fit me. There is an off chance they won't. Though I have been exercising. My waist, once a 32 is now a 30. I'm trying to get it to a 28, which is where it was when I was 18/19. completely attainable, though I will settle for a 29 if that's all I can get. My lower stomach, always a constant headache has lost half an inch and my thighs have lost half an inch. My arms? The same. Gah. They're the first place I gain weight and the last place I lose it. I'm considering liposuction for them in the not so distant future. Like in a year or something. If with constant exercise and better eating they don't reduce with the rest of me, I'll make them reduce with surgery. I hate my arms so much. Not only do they bare rememberences of other things, they are big and I feel weird exposing them. I feel less confident in my body when I wear tank tops and I'm aware of their size. If they were smaller, I could just forget about them. The other things I already lie away to inquiring people and they believe the lies easily so I don't care about that. Though I may look into some kind of lazer surgery to erase them. It's been 3 years and the thought of repeating such a stupid mistake is not with me anymore; it's so far away I can't even see it happening in my lifetime. By the time I get married, I want pristine arms. Smaller and feminine with no trace of a formerly troubled mind. My arms have seen thick or thin with me but I don't need to be constantly reminded. It's funny. When I touch the long, thick bumps, it's like someone else put them there. I can remember blood, but no pain. It would be so incredible to wake up with a clean slate. Thank You - 2006, June 7
|
|||