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2004, April 23 - 10:24 p.m.

It seems to me that $200 is a lot of money. It is when you don't have an income.

So why did I just blow $200 on clothes and shoes? The shoes alone were $100. I'd feel bad... but they're too damn cute. They are just perfect really. I need more shoes. More! I could have a love affair with shoes if my bank account would allow it.

I think Bridal Magazine has been affecting me. A lot. I'm wearing make up every day, fixing my hair, taking very special care with how I dress and so forth. My tone of voice has even picked up a couple notches.

This tends to happen to me a lot. It's not that I'm inauthentic when I'm there; I wouldn't be changing if I didn't like the changes. I'm just finding newer sides to me. There's the artistic side, the feminist side, the political side, the comedian side and what appears to be the radically feminine side.

It seems like my actions and behavior changes with whomever I'm with. So long as I like the person/people and like who I am when I'm with them that is.

I've noticed this a lot about myself.

And this time it's cost me $200.

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