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| Single Milestones 2004, May 22 - 4:29 p.m.
I�m going out tonight. This is worthy of mention because for the first time ever, I�m going out as a single girl. Ever since I was old enough to go to bars and even a little before that, I�ve been in a relationship. This is actually a really big deal. And it�s so funny, because almost through all of high school, I was single. I called myself the mama bird who watched as her babies left the nest. I had friends who had boyfriends. I just never had them myself. I mean, I went out with a couple guys I wasn�t really interested in, just to say I once had a boyfriend (give me a break, I was 16) but that�s it. But when I was 17/18 I became one of those boyfriend girls. I met new people, people who had never known me as a single girl. Thinking about that, it�s really odd! Even when I was with Brent, I still always saw myself as me, just me. Not part of a couple. When I was with Brent, we were a team, but when he wasn�t there� well, he was always in the back of my mind. It�s hard even now to look at cute guys and realize that flirting with them wouldn�t be wrong. But still, whenever I went out without him, he�d be sulky about it, so it didn�t happen often. The simple little things that happen at bars, like being bought a drink has never happened to me. Pathetic, but I want it to happen to feel single again. I not ready or willing to be with anyone new right now. It�s only been a couple weeks. Give me a few months to date and longer than that to get serious. But tonight is all about being single with no apologies. I don�t miss Brent. I miss his company sometimes and I look forward to seeing him once in a while through the week, but I don�t miss his kisses, his body, or his affection. I�m not second guessing myself. It�s a good feeling� but at the same time I feel guilty. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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