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| Claimed 2004, June 19 - 7:53 p.m.
Is it wrong to want someone to feel intensely about me? I mean, feeling that, "I can't live without you, I want only you" kind of love? I want to be claimed. Not owned or possessed, but claimed. I want to be sought, cherished and desired. Brent felt those sort of things for me, but I wasn't in love with him. So all I felt was smothered by those feelings. I kind of ignored those feelings he had for me. I didn't like to acknowledge them too much. I knew how he felt, I knew he loved me far more than I loved him... He would have married me, fathered my children and spent his life with me if I had let him. I want that kind of passion for someone - someone who feels that towards me. Someone who can be overwhelmed with feelings for me. Aren't I vain? I want that famous love. That poetic love. That... can't handle it because I feel so much love. I want that person, that man, to be my champion. I want him to feel protective of me. I want him to love me and only me. I want him to get angry at me when I deserve it, not just eat his feelings because he's afraid of losing me. I want him to crave and cherish touching me, not exepect and feel entitled to it. I want him to think I'm interesting. I want him to think I'm beautiful. Cute is nice, but I want to be beautiful to him. Is such a person out there for me? I don't care if I only have him for awhile, if it is the difference between having him little and not having him at all. I feel this capacity to love and be loved. I feel it inside me. It's not that I'm lonely. I don't know what it is. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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