 |
||
| Conclusion 2004, July 30 - 10:44 p.m.
I'm home. So is my wallet. Can you believe it? It's like a miracle. I just left it behind. After all the worry, it was always here. And my new credit card will be mailed to me and that will be that. It's a bloody, wonderful miracle. And I found a charming Scottish necklace from Alison (part of Scottish family) and it would seem she snuck it into my bag before I left! It was a lovely way to enter my room. Pretty Scottish momento and wallet with ID neatly tucked in my purse. I also see there is a vacuum in my room. Change is everywhere. But I want to write up some things from my travel diary. Just a few entires that really mean a lot to me and what my trip was about. July 14, 3:40 pm I just had the most amazing feeling just now. I am writing in my travel diary in a park cafe in London, England. I'm completely alone. Everything is so beautiful amd I'm the only person I know experiencing it right now. Unreal The world seems so much bigger to me now. Smaller too. People are here, living their lives. They'll go on, even when I'm not here to see them. There are people on the benches reading papers. I wonder what they did this morning, what they'll do later. I wonder if anyone is watching me write and wondering the same thing? July 15, 3:30 pm I am sitting in a pew in Holy Trinity Church. It is unreal. The pew I'm sitting in is 300 years old. Touching the wood and stone is unbelievable. There is an energy in this church. I'm alone right now, taking it all in. Somehow, though I am alone in this old church, I feel I'm not alone. There is a presence hereI can't ignore. I'm going to leave now. Quietly. July 21, 3:10 pm ...I'm also finding I enjoy travelling alone. I don't have to worry about anyone but myself.... I's been like an education for me. About England, Scotland and to a point, even myself. I alwasy seem to be able to handle more than I give myself credit for... I feel so good about that. I feel like I can do anything. It's such a freeing feeling. The last entry in my travel diary is really special to me. I got lost in the woods in Inverness and it did something for me, it really did. July 30, 9:30 am ...Last night people were whistling into the night out of their windows. They began whistling bakc and forth and when the Darth Vader theme was whistled, I whistled the end of the tune back. Between the whistling... I felt like I was here. In the Generator, I didn't feel like I was really there, not like everyone else was there. It's difficult to explain. I had the age old tree falling in the woods discussion with Struen (cousin) before I left. I said the tree will always make noise because where there is a tree, there is life and thus someone or something will always be there to hear or sense the sound. Last night someone heard me and I knew I was here. When I screamed in the forest and no one heard me, I didn't feel real. Never in my life had I been so alone or isolated. Bewildering possibility that if no one hears me scream, that I am somehow less there. It felt that way. When they heard me whistle, I felt real, alive and interestingly concluded about my trip. Feeling real is a good way to leave. Thank You - 2006, June 7
|
|||