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| Probing 2005, January 14 - 2:48 a.m.
Ok, so Ross and I had a good talk about the lateness. I made certain he understood how important punctuality is to me and after listening to how and why he was late, I saw no bad intentions were there. It was an accident. Granted he was careless, but only a little so I got over it fairly quickly. He also fixed my necklace, my pretty, pretty necklace that he got me for Christmas, which I promptly broke in under 25 hours and which he did not blame me for or make me feel bad in any way. So I've been wearing it and it makes me feel lovely to touch it and remember that he gave it to me. He took me to my doctors appointment today which was really nice. It was the appointment the emergency room people arranged for me on Christmas Eve. My horrid, putrid symptoms are still very much a part of my daily life, not to mention a couple new ones. Luckily for me they had me in sooner than originally planned, which would have been February 7. Ugh, that would have stunk. So yeah. I narrowly avoided another rectal exam by pleading with the doctor (A female. I greatly prefer female doctors. Male doctors touching me always makes me feel tense.) and telling her that I hyperventilate and cry involuntarily. Yeah, I'm a weiner, but seriously, I just couldn't deal with the idea of crying about it for a half hour again. Too embarrassing. However, what they're going to do with me is even worse. Now, they took the blood samples and they've scheduled an ultra sound for me. No biggie. But, I have to collect poo samples. FOUR poo samples. Just shoot me now. I loathe poo. I hate talking about it to people, and somehow it comes up more often than you would think. I would almost rather continue to live with what has been plaguing me for a month than collect my own excrement. Almost, anyway. Ugh. The other thing, and this is pretty bad too... A colon exam. Yeah. That's a tube up my butt with a camera. I thought a finger was bad. Oh, I was very much mistaken. Evidently they drug you and you barely remember the experience. Still, if I'm going to be drugged, I'm going to need someone with me afterwards. The only person I can think of is Ross. Love is being together, or at least only in the other room, while one of you is being probed. I'm nervous about this. A little scared too. And as soon as I have the samples, I have to take them to the lab at the hospital. Just drop them off. Just drop off my poo like it's nothing. Like it's a rental from Blockbuster. Just drop it off at the desk in some paper sack. Sigh. Unmentionable things are often hidden in paper sacks I just spent about $120 at amazon.ca on anime and for some reason, a DVD of Clan of the Cavebear. I hated that movie, yet I felt I must have it (???) Perhaps my spending splurge has some emotional factor, like something to do with the knowledge my butt will be some anal probe's bitch. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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