I baked a cake today; a beautiful cake. It's maple flavoured and it has pink icing. I just realy felt like baking. In a way, it's a sort of celebration of my new morning work hours that will allow me to finally have fun again.

No one else I know is on a night schedule. The only person who can accomodate it is Ross. And while that is important, it's not enough. He is not enough to make me happy.

And that cuts in to yesterday's entry. He is out having fun elsewhere while I work. He makes himself happy with a variety of things. I don't. I only have him and that isn't good. It isn't doing me any good at all.

I need to have more self reliant fun, more fun with other people and more things that are enjoyable that don't involve him.

Thus, Vancouver, thus me calling Steph today to see if she wants to come over this weekend and party in Toronto; thus me seeing a couple movies this weekend solo. It's all about builidng up a fun life for myself that includes Ross but does not depend on him.

I feel more alive than I've been in nearly two months.

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Thank You - 2006, June 7
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