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| E-mails 2005, February 18 - 6:06 p.m.
Ross and I have been resolving thing after thing. I called him about my problem and moderately cleared things up. But since he was with people, I didn't get in to it as much as I wanted to. So I wrote him an e-mail, a very thorough one, detailing exactly how I felt and what I wanted to say. We talked a bit about it over lunch and he said he thinks he still has some residual hang-ups about guilt from his past relationship. I had figured as much. I was really happy to have that cleared up. And then I got a letter in the mail from him, which he had mailed before he came. I had hurt his feelings awhile back, a week or two ago and this letter explained when, how and why. It wasn't a mean or snide letter, the way my e-mail wasn't mean or snide. It's veyr nice to see how well we can explain how we're feeling without attacking the other person. I was really happy he told me... but another part of me felt so separated from him suddenly. He had been feeling bad for a couple weeks and I didn't even know. That sudden realization made me feel horrible an detached from him. It prompted me to write another e-mail the next day, after I had realized that my ignorance of how he felt all this time was what had made me feel so separated from him. It was weighing on me so much that I had not only hurt his feelings but had no idea of it, while he was feeling so bad about it. It was good to know how he felt, I just had to tell him I needed to know how he feels sooner than a couple weeks after the fact. He understood and I got a considerate e-mail back. And so that was nicely resolved too. We seem to express ourselves better in writing, with our thoughts neatly organized and presented without chaos or anger. So efficient and less agonizing... It was a bit of a rough week, as far as conflict goes, but it was a very important week with lots of good communication and problem solving. I'm feeling really good right now. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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