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| A woman 2005, February 27 - 1:21 p.m.
I feel so unmotivated. I slept in until 1:00 p.m. I didn't need that much sleep, I'm pretty certain. I just couldn't think of a good enough reason to spend my day off getting out of bed, particularly when all I have on my agenda is laundry. Not exactly a strong motivator. I've been becoming very comfortable at work. I'm done my training mid-March and that will be really nice. The training period is unstressful and all that jazz but there is something really nice about being able to contribute fully to the workflow. I like my job. It's not exciting, nor is it what I've been training for, but it's enjoyable. I get to watch a lot of TV, I'm becoming really boned up on pop culture, I'm becoming a faster typist and my spelling is slowly improving. Mind you, I said slowly improving. I'm just happy to be at H.PLACE. Being in the building is soooo good for me too. After some time elapses and whatnot, I'll be able to pay more attention to the job postings and maybe move more in to my field. I think about that sometimes. I'm not in the journalism field. I'm a part of the television production process. But I only worry about not doing journalist work now and then. I try to focus on how lucky I am to have a job at a really amazing media hotspot and the fact that I can financially support myself now. I've always longed to be completely independant. I also thought I'd be a grown-up, finally, when this day came: my own apartment, a job, financial independance. Strangely, not so much. I feel like a quasi-adult. Not like a kid, nor a teenager, but an adult? I'm 22 years old. I was 18 when I started this diary. I wondered about these things even then, convinced that at this point I'd feel like an adult. Maybe when I'm done training? Haha. Just like that, maybe I will. Maybe in the future, when I live alone for the first time? Maybe I won't feel like adult until the day comes where I'm engaged or married. Maybe if/when I become a mother? Who knows. I thought I knew, but don't. Hmm, maybe when all of my friends are out of school. That's not so far away. Maybe it will just hit me one day that I'm a woman and a grown-up. Or maybe not. Thank You - 2006, June 7
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