So Ross wanted me to read his travel diary out loud to him on the way to Ottawa. Inside those pages I would up reading out loud that Ross went to a live sex show and watched couples fuck and women strip.

I have never been okay with this sort of thing. I find it nasty, sleezy and, in a relationship, incredibly inappropriate. I find it disloyal. It makes me feel uncomfortable and it makes me feel humiliated that my boyfriend felt the need to go to one of those places.

He never asked me how it would make me feel if he went to one. He didn't tell me afterwards. I had to read it aloud in his travel diary and hear and see him laugh at me when I reacted.

I tried to tell him tonight that it hurt me and that it was a bad thing to do. I said in a relationship you have to talk to your girlfriend before just going ahead and doing something like this. He was angry with me and said why did he have to check wtih me for something he was going to do?

How to you even explain that to someone who doesn't even get why if would upset his girlfriend if he goes to a strip club? Why would I be happy about him watched naked women dance and fuck?

He didn't even approach it with any sensitivity. He didn't think, he couldn't have, for a moment how that would make me feel, not only to have my boyfriend go to a place like that after he's left me for two weeks but to then "tell" me in such a hurtful way.

Just... ouch. Why would he think it's okay? Why would he laugh at me like that? How can he not even see how it might upset me? Why doesn't he ask me how I feel about him doing things that are going to affect me? I ask him. I alwasy ask and involve him.

I felt undervalued. Like my feelings didn't matter. I felt humiliated that my boyfriend went to a place like that and didn't consider me enough to question it. I feel disrespected because he didn't even tell me in a considerate way. I feel like shit that his only reactions to my reactions have been laughter and anger. I didn't think he was like that.

0 comments so far

<< tradition - modern >>

Thank You - 2006, June 7
The end - 2006, June 4
Canada Loves Me - 2006, May 31
In and Out - 2006, May 28
Where Have I Been? - 2006, May 25