 |
||
| My brother's sins 2004, December 13 - 5:16 p.m.
I just got off of the phone with Jamie. He was definitely on something. He was slurring words and he sounded really out of it. I'm concerned. I'm really concerned. Dad called him earlier and said he sounded drunk and stoned, not neccessarily in that order. Yeah... I'll have to agree with that. He has money is the thing. He has money and I'm afraid it's all going towards the wrongs things. He's working at a restaurant and while I'm happy he's working, he doesn't seem interested in going to school, or learning a trade or even finding himself. He seems happy to do nothing. It's not even that I'm angry. I'm just disappointed. He could do better, he could be better. And the thing is, I don't know what to do. I just don't know what to do. He lived with dad through a very hard time. I know that couldn't have been easy. I had to live through it too, but for less time. I counted the months and weeks and days until college. College was going to be my escape. Jamie's escape came from moving out when he was 18 after being kicked out. He hasn't had an easy go of it, I know. But why drugs? Why waste life? When you get a raw deal, you have to rise above it. Your mom dies when you're 14, you move in with your erratic alcohal father, you get emotionally abused/neglected for four more years and yeah, it will fuck you up. But you have to rise above it. You have to demand better out of life. You have to believe you deserve better than what you've been handed and make it happen. I wish he knew that. I wish I could go back and make it all better for him. Hell... Thing is, from my mother's death, I was able to take things from it and make a life for myself. I'm happy. It took years to get here but I'm happy, content and really, at peace with the whole thing; her death, my dad, all of it. Jamie isn't. He hasn't taken anything good from Mom's death. I doubt he's found any meaning to his suffering. That can make a person nuts� suffering for no reason. I'll talk to him face to face at Christmas. I'll keep calling him but I need to talk face to face with him. Thank You - 2006, June 7
|
|||